THE S H I T ABOUT MARRIAGE

No one likes to take shit from anybody but that is not the case in marriage. One thing every married couple must come to terms with is that one of the elements that makes marriage to be successful is the ability for each party to take shit from each other.

THE S H I T ABOUT MARRIAGE

No one likes to take shit from anybody but that is not the case in marriage. One thing every married couple must come to terms with is that one of the elements that makes marriage to be successful is the ability for each party to take shit from each other.

I learnt this many years ago when I attended a church wedding in Port Harcourt. The most interesting part of that wedding service for me was when the preacher came up to admonish the new couple after the joining. He was an interesting preacher though not with good command of the spoken English so he mixed the message both in broken English and unbroken English.

Every bit of his admonishing was lit and funny but I learnt a big lesson from this seemingly comical preacher when he turned to the couple and asked ‘do you like to eat shit’? He went on to make it clear to the couple that for their marriage to be successful both must be ready to eat shit from each other.

Problems start in marriage when we can no longer take shit from our partner.

At this point, I will like to bring our minds back to the real point here. I am talking about marriage here not dating or two confused people testing if the relationship will work or not. I am not talking of a relationship where the parties are not even sure of what they are doing.

Before a relationship gets to the point where marriage is in the front burner then it is expected that many doubts and uncertainties have been eliminated. At this point God should be involve and the individuals in it should have done their homework and are convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that they are meant for each other. In other words, at this point love for each other is being professed.

All these leading to the altar to finally consummate what they both profess and share intimately, at this point taking shit from each other should not be an issue. So when love is involve, the shit we are talking about are things that confront and challenge our egos and false assumptions of what a marriage should be in terms of roles and responsibilities, ignorance of our differences as a man and a woman, false hope that your spouse should get better without your patience and understanding and hard work and many of such mind set.

Over the years, this truth has remained with me and has greatly helped me in my marriage of almost 19 years and I can tell you that we are truly happily married.

Looking at the word S H I T, I realized that most things I believe and practiced about marriage are captioned in that word. It dawned on me that the acronym for that word forms what every married couple and especially intending couple should know.

The shit about marriage is an effort to bring to bear a few realities about marriage and marital issues. Knowing this and accepting these realities will surely revive any struggling or dying marriage and bring a fresh spark to both old and new marriage. In addition to these, this revelation will also help to set the right mind set for intending couple.

This is how I put it

That the foundation of marriage is SPIRITUAL

That marriage is HETEROSEXUAL

 INTIMATE relationship

Marriage is a TASK.

Hence the title THE S H I T ABOUT MARRIAGE

Having shared with you how I came about the title, let me get your opinion and views before I will continue with the main issue of the message. If you will like to engage me personally please send me a mail and ashtag it #theshitaboutmarriage or join the whatsapp group lovers4life with this link https://chat.whatsapp.com/KtL8B4CiE27G7GvLgZ53LY

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